See having a special brain requires some special understanding.
It means we need to stop and think, have patience, be alert to those little triggers, take time, listen, really listen mostly to the unsaid…
That’s where you can see, hear and tell what’s going on. Where we can support, chat through, understand and help.
My beautiful son has progressed more than we could ever imagine, over the last 3 years especially, he’s grown from a toddler to a proper little boy. Chatty, friendly, polite and full of life.
For most people they often remark with the best intentions “you’d never know he was any different”, “he doesn’t seem different to me”, “he does so well”. I know these comments come from a good place, and we don’t ever take offence.
We are all different, all have our own quirks and ways we do things.
We don’t ever let the fact that Charlie is autistic be a big deal, stop him doing things, use as an ‘excuse’ (harsh as that sounds it could easily be used as such), it doesn’t define him, and doesn’t limit his success.
He reaches his potential and goes beyond our expectations so often – house captain, school council, performing on stage in front of 500 people, snorkelling in the sea, walking up to the bar and ordering himself a drink (and thanking them in Greek :0), I could go on and on!)
This doesn’t just ‘happen’.
He didn’t wake up one day and decide his anxietys are gone away.
He works really hard to achieve what he does.
Quite often we have to go through a phase of what we call ‘Getting stuck‘.
Being autistic often means a delay in processing. Something that happens this morning that bothers Charlie may not be apparent until lunchtime, dinnertime even.
Getting stuck is his way of processing, having a little time out, being in his own bubble. He might be playing with a toy for ages, staring into space looking like his just daydreaming, watching something on the iPad.
Of course sometimes he can find it hard to get unstuck. He gets stuck on something and can’t seem to find a way to ‘snap out of it’.
He is starting to chat this through with us now and understands why he does it, and that he needs a bit of time out – don’t we all at times eh?
These sticky situations are helping him progress, to grow, and develop.
Even in this photo, Charlie was stuck on playing with the stones, sat there for ages and ages. It’s like he has an inbuilt mechanism to deal with his feelings and stresses. Afterwards you can physically see a weight is lifted. Maybe we could all learn and thing or two?! I know I certainly do.
I am so proud of you bear, and all you achieve xx
Love this blog and the photo. Jane, as usual you have captured it all. A huge landscape with a tiny safe place to be.
Yesterday I was discussing autism and describing how perfect the ‘onstage’ photo of Charlie is to explain different sensory perception. And now your new blog appears with perfect timing to cover another aspect.
(oh and yes of course you made me cry again !!)
That is so true Gill, a huge landscape with a tiny safe place, that perfectly sums up getting stuck. I adore that photo of the show, in an instant you can see the world through Charlie’s eyes xx